hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i would punch a child for taco bell
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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