There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
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do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
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also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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