we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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