i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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