Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
