bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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