I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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