guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
