Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
