mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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