my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Let's get the cat blown out
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
