if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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