ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
