C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
