Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
