Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
