At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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