what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
