we have officially lost it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
