and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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