I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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