Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
