i jhust puked up my retainher.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
