Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
