We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
