And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
