What a fucking waste of an outfit
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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