Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
