So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
