how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
