I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize