we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
its not stalking. its research.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Too much gin, very little bucket
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
