He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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