would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
