dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
