plz talk dirty to me
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
