Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize