Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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