going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize