trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
