If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
