I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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