you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
