'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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