Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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