Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize