the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
