dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
