I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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