I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize