chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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