Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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