am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I did not marry a roomba.
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