Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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