i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
