I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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