Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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