I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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