This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
