there's paper in my vomit.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
