Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize