evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
