she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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