Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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