I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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