i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
