Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
