I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize