i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
